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    December 15

    十月二十五夜记

         黑夜。
         有点冷的黑夜。
         正合我意。
         相比于喧闹的白昼,我更喜欢黑夜。不仅仅是因为它的宁静,也不仅仅是因为它的包容,也是因为黑夜赋予我的意味。
         广州这几天的温度骤降,终于感受到了一点冬意。西十一203的窗户原本就不是十分的严密,丝丝寒风或从窗缝里,或从门缝中溜进了室内。毫不留情地鞭笞着熟睡的人,和清醒的人。
         黑夜给了我舞台,寒风给了我剧本,也穿过了重重包围的高墙,掀开了面具。
         是什么时候开始的呢?幼年的纯真,只存在于记忆中了。我,难道已经习惯了躲在重重叠叠的城墙之后,修建着一堵又一堵的高墙吗?非吾欲也。
         有时候又觉得很无奈,明知道有些事情是在自己能力之外,难以得到,但是却不由自主地去追求。明知道有些事情是不想去做的,又因为某些原因不得不去做。明知道有些事情是想要去改变,却受某些限制而无能为力。
         又能够如何呢?只能坐在高墙的后面砌砌墙砖,回忆一下往事,有空的话,再从墙砖缝中往外看一下,看看世界究竟变成什么样吧?世界变成怎么样又与我何干呢?在现实,或者说命运面前,人的力量总是渺小的,我能够改变什么呢?还是砌砌砖吧。
         我相信命运吗?不相信吧。但是在记忆面前,不相信又有什么用处呢?
         或许还能做些什么吧。
         有人说我的日志比较难懂。呵呵,难懂便难懂吧,就当我写给自己看的好了。

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    为啥我觉得你心态老了很多捏?
    Dec. 15

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